Confidence Part 2

We know move forward to lesson #2 in confidence, namely….

In order to increase your confidence, you have to learn to talk to yourself rather than listen to yourself.

Now on the surface, this point might seem to contradict lesson #1. For the way I spoke about confidence in my last post made it seem that confidence would either be there or not. That is, if you practice enough and are good enough, you will be confident. If you give yourself reason to be confident, confidence will soon come. But as I said in that last post, although lesson #1 is true, it is only lesson #1. It isn’t the whole truth. At least two more lessons remain. Sure, it must be embraced, but it cannot be embraced as the whole truth.

In this respect, I speak from experience. For no one that I knew practiced more than I. And to a certain degree that strengthened my confidence. I know now that one of the reasons I was more confident that most was simply because I practiced more than most. Yet at the same time, I was not as confident as I should have been. People used to tell me all the time that I was the best shooter they had ever seen. Yet in my head, while practicing or watching one of my games, I would continually be telling myself that I wasn’t good enough, that I stunk, that I needed to improve. And to a degree that was true. I did need to improve. But there are better motivations than continually thinking negative thoughts.

Looking back, I think I used these negative thoughts to stir myself to greater work. I never wanted to become complacent, and though reality told me that I was a very good shooter, I was not willing to accept it. I kept filling myself up with negative notions about my game. And I was much worse off because of it.

So that is why lesson #2 is so essential. For you can practice all you want, but if you don’t learn to think in line with reality, you will end up stifling your own potential. Take note: In order to increase your confidence, you have to learn to talk to yourself rather than listen to yourself.

Now, one thing I have to explain about this point is that it assumes that there is a conversation going on inside all of us. And I think if you take careful notice of your own mind, you will see that this is true. You can’t silence your brain. You are consistently involved in an inner conversation. The key is whether or not you take control of this conversation. Someone is going to do the talking. Will it be you? Or will it be this vague self-perception within your own head?

In my Christian walk, I call this preaching to myself. It’s a good picture if you understand it. For a preacher is one (or supposed to be one) who stands in front of a group of people and exhorts them to believe in God and live accordingly. He essentially tells them what to think and how to live. Well, that is what I want to do for myself when it comes to both living and playing. I want to tell myself what to think and how to play. I want to be in control of my inner conversation.

In practical basketball talk, this means that I want to think positive thoughts about my game. Sure, they can’t be ridiculous thoughts with no basis in reality, but they still can be positive nonetheless. As it relates to one aspect of my game now, I need to think of myself as a great shooter. I have worked on it for years and I am capable of shooting as well as anyone I know. So why should I deny that? Why should I tell myself that I am not good? That’s not motivation. It’s foolishness! And it actually works against the good of my own game.

Indeed, I need to think of myself as a great player overall. I can’t go into a game afraid that others are better than me. Even worse, I can’t go into a game telling myself that others are better than me. For if I do that, I am defeated before the game begins. No. I am going to give myself reasons for confidence, and then I am going to remind myself of reality. I am going to ‘preach’ to myself as it were. I am going to talk to myself, to tell my own mind what and how to think, with the knowledge that this renewal within my head will lead to much better play on the court.

How is your confidence? No matter how you answer that question, take pains to practice and to preach to yourself the truth. Those are lessons #1, and #2. One more lesson remains.

Talking to myself with you,
Joe